How the Gates (Almost) Stole Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Blue screens were everywhere; no response from the mouse
Windows, it seems, had decided to die
Because it had updated; we didn’t know why
But Santa had a plan while we were all in bed
He reformatted our server and

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A Visit From Saint Rich

With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, Richard Stallman, and the English-speaking world in general — ed.

‘Twas the night before Christmas
While up in my bed,
I stared at the ceiling
With feelings of dread.

I’d really no reason for portents of doom
Lying there, sleepless, in gathering gloom.
We’d wrapped all the presents, and decked out the tree,
But still, there was something niggling at me.

Then a stab of fear struck me, right through like a knife.
“Holy crap!” I exclaimed. “I FORGOT MY WIFE!”
Yes, somehow through all of the retail hell,
I’d forgotten to get …read more

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